(Amazing what an AI image generator will do in 5 seconds!)
Twas the fortnight before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring*, not even Michael Gove mouse;
The developers hung around at their Christmas parties with care,
In hopes that the new NPPF soon would be there;
The land promoters were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of five year housing land supply danced in their heads;
When out in the green belt there arose such a clatter,
They sprang from their bed to see what was the matter.
When, what to their wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny former Secretary of State reindeers,
More rapid than buses they all came,
Gove whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"Now, Jenrick! now, Brokenshire! now, Javid and Clark!
On, Gove**! on, Pincher! on, Pickles and Clarke***!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of further amends to the NPPF and secondary legislation connected with LURA, and Gove too.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney Gove came with a bound.
He was dressed all in tweed, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
The new NPPF he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a *%#! just opening his pack.
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle,
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight****,"
Happy Christmas to the nimbies, and to all a good-night."
*Because parliament is in recess until 8 Jan
**Has to call himself as he was SoS before
***Helpful to have Greg Clark and Simon Clarke otherwise I would have had to rhyme Pincher with something very unsavoury
****Out ofsight politically next year for at least a good decade or so hopefully!